Monday, February 02, 2009

MFR Is Concerned About Gary Oldman


*MP3: Hold Steady - "Positive Jam"
*MP3: Hockey Night - "Grim Break"
*MP3: Interpol - "Heinrich Maneuver"
*MP3: Justin Timberlake - "Sexy Back"
*MP3: Cloud Cult - "Fairy Tale"
*MP3: Bon Iver - "Babys"
*MP3: Kanye West - "Stronger"
*MP3: Kings of Leon - "Knocked Up"
*MP3: Les Savy Fav - "What Would Wolves Do"
*MP3: Elliot Smith - "Needle In The Hay"
*MP3: Say Hi - "November Was White"
*MP3: Coconut Records - "West Coast"
*MP3: Animal Collective - "My Girls"
*MP3: The Strokes - "Trying Your Luck"
*MP3: Mates of State - "My Only Offer"

The other night, I saw The Unborn. It was bad, just like anyone would expect. However, there was one redeeming aspect of the movie. At about the one-hour mark, Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, Harry Potter, Fifth Element, JFK) appeared in the form of a liberal and free-thinking rabbi. I was absolutely pleasantly surprised; in fact, I gave my friend a wee silent cheer. Rarely there is a movie I can disagree with that features Mr. Oldman and his wonderful accent. But as the movie progressed, my mind began to wander. I began to question why Mr. Oldman would take on such a role with the knowledge that the movie would be complete crap; I am, of course, assuming that Oldman is near genius, if not a complete genius. I mean, just look at him and that mustache.

With that in mind, I think it's safe to say the Mr. Oldman took on this role merely for monetary gain, which I normally would fault an actually successful actor like Oldman for doing. But now, I'm thinking that his decision was more responsible, dare I say, economical. As you may have noticed, we are in the midst of a large-scale recession. A recession which I believed only influenced the meak, such as myself. It never dawned upon me that this recession could even take a bite out of the careers of popular actors. Well, to put it plainly, while something was happening in the movie that involved some near-dead zombie child, I was blowing my own mind with this economic riddle within a rhyme.

The fact of the matter is this: Gary Oldman is in trouble. Gary Oldman needs our help.

If I get 100 comments to this blog post, I will start garyoldmanneedsourhelp.com and will begin accepting donations on behalf of the Oldman estate.

In case gold old GO reads this, here's a mix to make him feel better.

Smooches.

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's hoping for another Batman sequal.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

huh?

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gary Oldman definitely needs our help.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Jack said...

necessary post.

1:36 AM  
Anonymous wendy said...

I think he is a pretty rabid right-winger in real life, so odd he's playing a leftie.

9:36 AM  
OpenID morefiction said...

I'm consistently disappointed by movies that are so bad, not even smoking-hot Odette can carry them.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Wiz said...

Okay.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Max Sparber said...

I suspect it was a favor to writer/director David Goyer, who wrote The Drak Knight. Also, the paycheck. Also, he wanted to do a New York rabbi accent, which I think he nailed.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Mark D. said...

"Now I know I'm pretty. But I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties..."

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Greg Porridge said...

Who's Gary Oldman? Never heard of him.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

blasphemy!

10:41 PM  

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